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South Dakota .NET User Group

I Hate Linux

Contributing to ‘Climate Change’ on the cheap?

When it comes to the environment, there was a time that we were told that the world was going to end due to global cooling, then it was acid rain, later it was a giant hole in the ozone layer, followed by global warming and eventually global climate change (really just global warming renamed in the hopes no one would notice).

The Wall Street Journal had an excellent piece on Monday discussing the Obama Administration's proposed cap and trade tax system and who would ultimately end up paying the bill in the end (spoiler alert: the answer is anyone who uses energy).

That article and former claims of doom and gloom are not the point of this post… instead both got me thinking about the health of the plans of the earth. Even if such a carbon trading system was successful in reducing the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere (which is difficult given the amount of naturally produced CO2)... I am forced to worry about the health of the plants of 'mother' earth... which, without sufficient amounts of CO2 starve and die.

This has me wondering... what can I do, to cheaply help counteract some of these carbon offsets being created by others. How can I release more CO2 into the atmosphere to help these soon to be starving plants survive... without paying an arm and a leg for it in taxes?

See it's that tax thing which is the key... sure I could waste a few dollars and... keep my car idling down stairs while I'm asleep or at work... or run the window air conditioner (that I brought from South Dakota where it was needed) all summer with the my apartment windows open.

Both would surely contribute in some way, but not enough. In the case of the air conditioner, without knowing exactly where every kWh of power was coming from, I have no way to know if the original source is emitting copious amounts of CO2... and in both cases soon I'd be likely paying an increased rate  due to higher taxes on the energy producers.

So what other options do I have that might not be as heavily taxed (at least right away)? Here are some options I'm thinking of:

  • Gain back much of my lost weight and remain out of shape so as to use oxygen less efficiently
  • Purchase dry ice for the express purpose of letting it melt/evaporate
  • Make baked beans a required food for all Americans at least twice a day
    • OK so it doesn't result in CO2 but it does create a greenhouse gas... right?
  • Buy an old coal mine, mine the coal myself and set fire to what I extract
    • I suspect that purchased charcoal would have a tax built in
  • Purchase tanks of compressed CO2 and leave the nozzle running
  • Go on a mass plant killing rampage
    • the fewer CO2 eating plants there are, the more CO2 there will be for the survivors
  • Cut down my own firewood and burn it
  • Cause a volcanic eruption on a deserted island
    • Admittedly I'm still not sure how I'd do this
  • Boil as much water as possible to create more of the biggest green house gas of them all
  • Plant and then burn corn
    • Corn sweats late in its growth cycle, putting large amounts of moisture into the air
    • Burning of the corn would emit large amounts of CO2

Am I missing any?

Note I have purposelessly left off things that would clearly be illegal (various bits of arson, burning of actually hazardous materials (tires, etc)) or other things that would directly harm others or their property.

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